E8 Heartbreak and Expansion 💔 🕊 ✨
Updated: Jun 1, 2022
Change is not something we eagerly dive into as humans. Why alter the way things work when everything's running smoothly? And even if it isn't great, the patterns we have are comfortable. But what do you do when you feel something isn’t right and that voice in your head tells you that you need to move?
Listen to this voice. It’s your higher self telling you to embrace change.
In this episode of The Pollen Podcast, Diana talks about her recent breakup and the lessons she's learning. Life is always a winding road, and we need to accept and embrace change as a part of it. Trust in the process and learn to sit in the "voids" of change. You got this. 🤗
Listen to this episode to learn how to embrace change no matter how difficult it is!
Create your own creative entrepreneurship story of clarity, professional confidence, and profit. Join Diana’s 90-day group course Camp Clarity and learn everything you wish you already knew, like how to land dream clients, harness the power of social media, and make the money you deserve. Learn more here.
🔥Here are three reasons why you should listen to this episode:
Discover what Diana is learning as she goes through her breakup — how we can embrace change without fear and listen to our intuition on what needs to change.
Understand that life doesn't always go as planned. Your higher self will redirect you where you need to be.
Learn to sit in the “void” during times of change and let go of the need for control.
Achieve the life, career, and clients you’ve always wanted (and fully deserve!). Sign up for Diana’s Camp Clarity Course now!
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Access other courses from the Diana Davis Creative
[02:53] Catching Up with Diana
Diana shares how the podcast has helped her tap into her power and stopped playing small, especially for her personal relationships.
She shares how her previous relationship was easy to leave because of its toxicity.
Leaving things when they’re good is difficult. Diana is currently navigating the evolution of a six-year relationship.
[05:45] Embrace Change and Walk the Winding Road
We don't know what change is in store for us. Change can be a difficult challenge to overcome.
When we're in a "void," we usually don't know how to get out. The same can happen in business.
Diana shares how her oracle cards remind her to be present in the experience and be willing to walk a pathless path.
Things in life and business may seem good on paper, but we don’t feel good about them when they’re made real. We need to acknowledge these and learn to change.
[7:11] Diana Davis: “So when we think we know what our lives are going to look like, God laughs for a reason…if change is in store for you, if God, the universe, or whatever higher power you believe in, has change in store for you, you should be so fucking excited.” - Click Here to Tweet This
[12:46] Trust Yourself in Times of Change
Even though she’s going through uncertainty, Diana feels safe and trusts that she’ll be okay.
Are you stopping yourself from doing things because of others? If you are, you may need to consider a change.
Things don’t always happen as we think they should, and that’s okay.
[14:32] Diana Davis: “Ask yourself, in your business, in your partnership in your life: what are you not doing because of someone else?” - Click Here To Tweet This
[17:57] How to Embrace Change
People need to know that things can be okay even if it doesn’t feel like it. Allow yourself to be in a void and trust you’ll get through it.
Learn to let go of control and allow situations to happen as they should.
Take the time to do the work needed, but when you make a decision, stick with it.
Clear out the resistance and things you need to let go of; allow abundance and opportunity to flow.
Diana wants to share her story because she wants to be authentic and help people also going through this kind of change.
[18:33] Diana Davis: “That place of the void — Let yourself sit there no matter how uncomfortable, if you're in a void in your business, in a void in your launch, trust, tune in, look around, pay attention, pull a card. What are you not paying attention to? Have you listened in a while? Let it be what it needs to be.” - Click Here to Tweet This
[24:08] What’s Next for Diana?
Diana will be traveling a lot. She plans to go to New York, Montana, Colorado, Italy, and many more places.
Two years ago, she was burning out and barely scraping by, but now she can have the security and business that supports her dream life.
If you’re going through change, be excited and lean into it.
Enjoyed this Podcast on Embracing Change?
Be bold in everything you do, not just in your business but also in your personal life. Embrace change and trust you’ll be okay!
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Ask yourself: in your business, in your partnership, in your life, what are you not doing because of someone else? Partnership is just an easy example. What are you not doing because you don't think you can do it with your partner? And then it's like, is this a good fit if you're not doing that thing you want to be doing? Or can you do the thing anyway? For me, it was like, I started traveling on my own, you know, I just went and so did he, and that's okay too.
Diana Davis: Welcome to Pollen: The Podcast for Creative Entrepreneurs. I'm your host, Diana Davis, multi-passionate creative, business coach, Gemini, manifesting generator, matcha drinker, and travel junkie. I'm also the founder of Diana Davis Creative, where I went from a six-figure photography business to coaching creative entrepreneurs like you. If you want to have a career and a life you love, you're in the right place.
On this show, I'll be coaching on all things creative entrepreneurship, and you'll hear stories from fellow creative entrepreneurs that will show you it is possible to do life the way you want to. They'll share the nitty-gritty of their journeys, like the real shit, and how they are doing it differently. I'm stoked to have you along on this journey. Let's go.
Hello, Pollen listeners. This is just going to be a stream of consciousness episode. Honestly, it always is. A lot of people have actually asked me if I take notes. And if you know me, I'm just not that girl. I'm just not. I actually — as we speak, I did a free masterclass today. If you would like the replay, you can DM me. I could probably link that in the show notes if you'd like it. All on attracting dream clients on Instagram and showing up authentically and yeah. I have some slides, but it's mostly stream of consciousness. So you can see that on that medium as well.
Today, I am talking about something so vulnerable. And I'm pretty good at compartmentalizing. I think that comes from ranch life, fortunately and unfortunately. You have to really kind of detach yourself from a lot of the outcomes of ranch life — sometimes death, other things you can't control, weather, you know, that kind of thing — so I think I'm going to be okay today. This is a really vulnerable episode, probably the most vulnerable thing I've ever shared. So we're just going to go for it. And I really — yeah, we're just going to go for it.
We talk about this winding road. And it's so amazing: with this podcast, if you listened to Episode 1, there were really no expectations of what this has to look like; truly supposed to be a creative outlet. And in the last three months, I've really started tapping back into my power, if you will, stopped playing small, specifically in my personal relationship, my romantic relationship, and my friendships and other personal relationships. I'm pretty bold.
When it comes to coaching, I'm really good at boundaries. When it comes to my clients, I'm really good at not letting things get to me at this point. For the most part, we all, you know, have our wounds when someone just knows where to stick the knife. It's like “Ugh”, you know, but for the most part, I'm pretty bold, and a lot of people are surprised at how sometimes I show up in other places of my life. And I'm here to declare that that's stopping now.
I've been going through this growth journey of tapping back into my power over the last three months as — dropping the bomb here — my partner and I are navigating a breakup after six years. And it's been the hardest thing I've ever done, truly. And I think with this podcast being a creative outlet, and not having to have expectations here, I really think it's a good place to share this.
First of all, because I really believe in modeling things for other people. We need things modeled for us so we can have the permission to do it. And not everyone needs permission — some people are permission givers — but we can all learn from everyone, right, and kind of rewire societal norms.
I want to talk about this because, as you know, if you listened to Episode 1, I am divorced. I was married when I was 20 — which is insane to me now — and I was married for four years, and there was a lot of really toxic stuff happening there. There was alcohol involved and a lot of things that made it really easy to leave. And I say easy with air quotes because it wasn't easy. But at least I had some sort of excuse that society would take. Even, like, my grandpa saying “Oh, it was because of alcohol? That's okay then. It's okay you're getting divorced.” And it's like “Man, that was a permission slip”, right?
I was young and it changed a lot for me. I feel like I got 20 years of wisdom just in those few months of divorce, and coming out of that, and living alone, and learning what I wanted, and moving to New York City without a job or a plan, and just really leaning into who I was and learning who I was — my God, at 24, 25, I had no idea who I was. And now I'm almost 32 and my current — not current anymore, I guess. We're still in the same house as we speak. Maybe when you're listening to this, I've moved out. But my current partner and I have been together six years, and he is my person.
Why I bring this up is because I want to talk about leaving things, even though they're good. And also the winding path, which this podcast has just had a huge theme of. That wasn't really always the plan, but it was like — yeah, it's come up every time.
When we think we know what our lives are going to look like, you know, there's a saying that God laughs for a reason. And I really, truly believe — and my dad has told me this since I was in college — that if change is in store for you, if God, the universe, source, whatever higher power you believe in has change in store for you, you should be so fucking excited. And yeah, it can also be painful. It can also be the hardest thing you've ever gone through.
I'm crying every 15 minutes right now, these days. And I just want to say here that we're doing this very consciously, which I didn't even know was possible. So from my divorce, which was really toxic, to this relationship and friendship I've been in for six years — friendship, seven years — breaking up, it's not really breaking up. We're really just evolving our relationship.
We really want to stay friends, and we really want to support each other, and we've even been supporting each other right now: in the tears, in the breakdowns, in the panics — oh my god, we have a panic attack, like, once a day — in the movement, and that's okay.
While I've been going through this, I've been in a void. And the people who really know me, know this: I want answers. I'm a fixer. I'm a coach. I'm a teacher. I'm a leader. I want to fix things now. Let's go, let's have a plan, let's take the thorn out of our side, you know? New York's not working for you? Great, let's move to Colorado where that's going to be more expansive for you. This job is awful? Why would we stay, even if it's good money? Let's go find something exciting, you know?
I'm not good at the void. And I don't know if anyone else can relate, but it's a really hard place to be. And this goes for business too: when you're in business and you're just in it, and you don't know the way out, it's really hard to be in it. And I love oracle cards. And I've been pulling from the archetype type — excuse me, archetype deck, because it's brutal. It'll tell you straight up what's happening.
I've pulled the desert card, which is basically like “You're in it, babe. You are in it, and there's no way out right now, and you just have to be in it.” And even though all you want is water and shade, you have to be in it. And you're going to experience some really dark nights and some really scorching sun, but you just have to be in it.
This forest card that's basically like the pathless path. I'm like “Okay, oracle cards, I get it. Thank you. Okay”, you know? The pathless path. No one wants to hear they're on the pathless path, are you kidding me? There's going to be bumps in the night and, you know, crazy brambles and foliage and tanglement — and also some beautiful fireflies once in a while, some fairy lights, but you're in the forest and the only way out is through. And it's not a straight path. It's a pathless path and you have to be in it. You have to be willing to be in it or you just stay on the other side of it.
That's where I've been for the past three months. I launched my podcast during this time, and I've definitely kept moving forward, and I've also had many people reflect to me how strong I'm being — you might reflect that back to me, just by being able to show up on this podcast.
We broke up last Tuesday. We had our last date night last night during the lunar eclipse, might I add, which is wild. You might even say “Wow, a date night after you broke up.” And yeah, I know, tell me about it. We're really here for each other, and we really want to keep this relationship intact, and we love each other. But it's just time for us to grow in different ways. And we have to let ourselves have space to do that.
That's a lot of times in business too — and I'm not just here to relate this back to business. This doesn't have to be a business podcast. It can be about life too, right, and it is, so much of it. But my business is my life also. And now I'm kind of like “My business really is my life”, but it really is like that in business.
We have so many things that maybe seem like: on paper, they're supposed to be working and supposed to be amazing, but in your gut, you just don't feel good about it. And you know — there's, like, this internal knowing — and if we can really, really tap into our intuition and get quiet, there's a lot it has to say — or honestly, not a lot.
If we tap into our higher selves and really ask, it's usually, like, one word, which is annoying. You want more, you're like “Come on.” But it's usually like “trust” or “you're safe” or “everything is going to work out”.
This entire breakup, my higher self has been saying “You're going to be okay”, and I'm like “I know, but also, like, can't I just be angry? Can't I just be, you know, wanting to just gorge a gallon of ice cream in front of, like, a rom-com and cry all night with a bottle of wine”, and that's okay too, obviously. But that just hasn't been where I'm at. It's just been like “Nope, this is a growth portal and you're going to be okay, but you have to be in it.”
I wanted answers for so long. And I'm going to be really honest, we were looking at rings in February. Why I tell you this is just to normalize that paths change — or more like we think we're on a path that we're not at all. And some things that have come up for me in this: I've been “Oh, you thought you were saving up for a house? Well, actually, now you have a down payment that you can use to travel the world with.” And that's what I'm going to do. And you're hearing it here: I am. I'm going to travel the world. The minute we finalized, it was like “Yep, I'm going, I'm going to go do that”.
On that note, it's also like, ask yourself: in your business, in your partnership, in your life, what are you not doing because of someone else? Partnership is just an easy example. What are you not doing because you don't think you can do it with your partner? And then it's like, is this a good fit if you're not doing that thing you want to be doing? Or can you do the thing anyway? For me, it was like, I started traveling on my own, you know, I just went and so did he, and that's okay too. Then it's just — we're just not on the same path right now, which is okay.
All of that being said, things don't always happen as we think they do or think they should — and thank God. If my life were what I thought it should be, I would be probably barefoot and pregnant in Montana with, like, three kids, maybe really unfulfilled, hating my life, taking care of someone who I couldn't take care of, I couldn't be there for in that way anymore. So God bless the broken fucking road, you know?
Another thing that has come up too is like “Oh, you thought you were going to have a month-to-month lease because you're moving out of your house to buy a house? Nope, you have a month-to-month lease because you're going to break up, girlfriend. You're going to go travel the world”.
There's all these things that it's just like “Wow, the universe really does have my back” and I really don't have to, like, worry about it so much. I just have to follow kind of my breadcrumbs and, like, know and tune into my path. And know when it's time to take a left or a right-hand turn like “Woah, something's off here. I think we went too far the wrong way”.
Honestly, I believe that if you do go far off the wrong way, and you're still headed that way, the universe is going to redirect you. It's very creative. It's the most creative entrepreneur in the universe, obviously.
I didn't cry on this episode like I thought I might. I'm not really talking about my partner and I specifically in this, which is probably why. His face is also not right in front of me, which if it was, I would bawl my eyes out.
I'm not a very emotional person. I have a hard time bringing that to the surface sometimes. I kind of joke that I need, like, a half a bottle of wine and a rom-com to cry. And I've cried more than I've ever cried, ever, in the last month probably as I'm grieving an identity, a life, six years, a house, furniture, all the — like, I'm going to go nomadic. It's not like I'm moving down the street. I'm like “I'm out, Denver, peace”. Didn't really want to be here in the first place. However, I'm so glad I was, and that's part of the plan too, right?
The broken road and just sharing this vulnerably — and yeah, staying strong is interesting, emotions are interesting, and I'm so grateful to him for allowing me to share my story. There's obviously a lot that will always remain just ours, but I think it's important and he did too. He's like “You need to share. People need to know about this. People need to know things can work out, even though they feel like they're not working out”.
That place of the void? Let yourself sit there, no matter how uncomfortable. If you're in a void in your business, in a void in your launch, trust, tune in, look around, pay attention, pull a card. What are you not paying attention to? Have you listened in a while? Let it be what it needs to be because, sometimes, the void is actually it. The void is the thing. And I'm finally kind of coming out of the forest, really rumpled.
My hair's a mess. There's dirt on my face. I think I lost a shoe coming out of that forest. And coming out on the other side, realizing how “Yeah, that all needed to happen, as hard as it's been. As hard as it's been” — now I'm going to cry. But it needed to happen, and we need to honor our separate ways, and honor the path and not just force it. That's another thing, like, what are you forcing that you can just let go of control?
You know, we're sitting here — Bobby and I are unbelievably amazing partners. Logically, on paper, it makes no sense for breaking up or moving on. But we know in our guts, it's right. And we also know in our guts and have communicated that we do not need to beg for each other back because we know it's right. Like, let's not revert back to the wishy-washy state. So also making swift decisions, I think, is a huge part of this too.
Swift, not in a “Let's not think about this. Let's just call it because we've been thinking about this, and mulling it over, and basically doing manual labor on this relationship hard for the last 3, 3–4 months”. But when it's decided, it should be decided, you know? It's like, don't let it have more suffering than it needs to. We don't need to, like, you know, death by a thousand cuts this thing.
I just hope this is expansive because I know — just from my DMs, and my texts, and my friends, and my people — that a lot of you are actually going through this right now. There's some big energy happening, some big shedding happening.
When we had that Scorpio lunar eclipse last night that I watched from Red Rocks — which was the coolest experience ever and also, like, so many tears — there's a lot of shedding and I know we're going through it as a collective. So I just want you to know it's okay. The path is winding for a reason and change is powerful and potent. And if you resist it, that's where all the unalignment, the junk, the clogged pipes comes, right?
It's like — I picture those Drano commercials when I picture business. It's like your pipe is clogged, your hose is kinked. How can you clear that stuff out, clear out the blocks, clear out the resistance, unkink the hose, and let abundance and opportunity truly flow to you? Because if we're in alignment with the path the universe has for us, we're going to be okay, no matter how much it seems to hurt.
How beautiful, as Mark Grove says — which I've been listening to him like crazy. How beautiful that we have so much pain because it means we've loved a lot. And I mean in this specific instance, not maybe other types of pain. But when you're feeling pain and something like this — an identity loss or an actual loss or a breakup — how cool we got to love that much to feel this much pain.
It's different for everyone. That's my story currently. This is my reality currently. It could change. I'm speaking in real-time over here. We're about to make the big Instagram posts to our people today, which we don't have to do, but I really love being authentic with my audience and letting them know where I'm at, and that's part of what I teach. It's important to me to be able to share unfiltered and not have things hiding.
There’s stuff they don't need to know, that aren't relevant, but this is a big deal. Not only because of the lifestyle shift but just in who I am and how I'm going to show up even more empowered and plugged into my own power, which is empowered. That's quite literally the definition.
Where am I going next? Well, you're going to see me all over. And if you follow me already on Instagram, you probably know I'm definitely a Sagittarius moon and I love expressing my Gemini self through travel and depth and adventure. So yeah, I want you to stay tuned because I'm not going to have a lease. I am probably going to be in New York for a minute. I'm going to be in Montana for a minute. I'm going to be back in Colorado for a second. Italy, France. Those are the plans I have, which blows my mind.
I just want to normalize that too. It blows my mind that I'm here because, two years ago, I didn't think I would be here at this point, having the security and resources to do this, let alone have a remote business that supports my dream life — which my dream life doesn't have to be your dream life, right? That's very important.
I want you to know it's so possible because, two years ago, I was scraping by and burning out. I had success and I had a six-figure photography business — I was also living and paying rent in New York City. I didn't know this was possible. But I did want to travel the world in June of 2020 and it didn't happen. Kind of interesting, huh? How things come back around just as they should.
It's like “Oh, that dream never died. It's here and it just came back around when it was right”. So here we are. Crazy. Couldn't have even fathomed being here, only dreamt of it. Especially, like, five years ago, before I started entrepreneurship at all. Especially 10 years ago, when I was married in Montana to a cowboy, literally.
I just want you to know the void is okay. You're allowed to be there, you're allowed to be in the forest. I also want to note that a ladybug is crawling on my window and it does almost every time I record this podcast. There it goes. Pollen. I love it.
The void is okay. Sit in it. You're going to be okay. Lean into your support system. You got this. Abundance is going to flow because you're healing through the void. And a winding path is very fucking exciting. When there's change, don't freak out. Be excited about it. Don't grip. Don't kink the hose. Don't clog your pipeline. Let it flow. Trust. What can you let go of? How can you breathe in and make things 1% more relaxed and easier on yourself?
Thank you for hearing me. Thank you for hearing my story. This is a very vulnerable space and I want to keep it really vulnerable. Yeah, feels good. It feels good to have this community being here, and I want to hear your stories too. If you're going through something like this, I'm just sending you love. And I want to be really clear: I'm definitely not asking for pity. I don't need — I love you, but I don't need, like, the I'm sorrys. I'm going to be okay and I have my people. I'm leaning on my people. We're working through it.
This by no means is coming from the wound and is coming from a place of victimhood or needing validation whatsoever. I truly just wanted to share this with you in case it gave you permission to be unbridled, to be untamed, to go after what you want, to be unafraid of change, or to just sit in it right now.
Alright, Pollen Fam. I love you so freaking much. Thank you for being here. Stay tuned on the ‘gram because I'll be all over the world. And if you have places that you want me to visit or recommend, please DM me. If you live around the world, I want to know. DM me. Maybe we can meet in real life. You never know.